It's good to see you working on the production side Dio.
Well if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely remove the long dreamy breakdown. And instead, add slightly more aggressive elements and acid-ish sounds while remaining with the main melody in the background. In my opinion this would globally give a new shape for your basic track, so that you can also target many music mainstreams. But again, that's only my personal opinion

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All the best toi !!